Je ne voulais pas savoir
by Syaoran's Sakura
Summary: Of course he'll catch him. And hold him tight. If possible he'll never let go. No matter how much his barren heart hurt. Sound Horizon HiverxMärchen.


_**Authoress' Notes:**__ Hang in there, everyone! I just have to release some tension in this fic... And I love the way I wrote this, because I cried in the end... anyway, I'll let you enjoy it for now!_

_**Disclaimer:**__ Märchen will always belong to Sound Horizon which made it, while I will forever belong to the twisted mind that I own._

_**Warnings:**__ Shounen-ai ahead... and angst... so if you're not a fan of those... read anyway! :)P_

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><p><strong>Je ne voulais pas savoir<strong>

**By: **Syaoran's Sakura

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><p>The doll lay untouched for a long time in a corner, while the book that he'd clutched closely and held onto for seven seasons lay unattended and cold on the grass-carpeted ground; its pages closed shut as if to hide its owner's whereabouts from him.<p>

Hiver picked the book on impulse, opening it and flipping the pages unconsciously until he landed on the last empty page, to which he sighed and embraced the book, a frown upon his lips.

'_Where could he have gone off to?'_ The unspoken question rang an eerie tune on his mind, as Hiver took one last look at his surroundings before his bicolor eyes landed once more on the still Elise, who had reverted back to her original form right before his very eyes.

A shadow of a lady clad in red flowing gowns flitted through the trees to land her hands onto his shoulders, as her red lips leaned closer to his ear. The lady spoke softly but with a mocking tone on her voice, her lips curved into a malicious smile.

"_Ah, you know well enough where he is right now, right with his beloved. While you, you'll have no one, right?"_

Hiver shut his eyes tightly, feeling the onslaught of unwanted emotions flood his mind. He almost had to stop himself from running away, instead settling for quick, uneven steps, trying to keep his mind occupied as the lady continued to whisper sweet nothings to him as he went, trying to keep his mind numb as Michele continued to whisper the bittersweet, painful truth to him.

That the moonlight will always belong to the white bird which basks on it, while the winter forever belongs to the darkness which embraces it.

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><p>Michele had already gone like the wind when he'd decided to return back to the well. Still clutching the book close to his chest Hiver hummed a little tune to his lips, as his heart began to numb itself impulsively.<p>

Her words had left their mark on him, at least on those parts of him that remained blissfully ignorant of the truth that was evident right from the very start. At some point Hiver's subconscious knew that she only spoke of the truth, which his mind instinctively barred. To protect him or to hurt him he did not know, but it was there all along, that raw, agonizing realization he'd buried deep into the abyss of his mind when he'd learned about the other's past.

All of those superfluous thoughts were cast aside in favor of seeing the one object of his attention standing beside the well. Hiver thought of sneaking up on him, but Märchen had turned around to meet his gaze as he arrived. He had a melancholic smile on his face, which made Hiver's eyes narrow. Deciding to ignore all those he swept Märchen into a warm embrace and kissed him.

Märchen made no move as Hiver continued to hold him for a short while, hearing his breaths come irregular short intervals, and feeling the pale body tremble with such force that Hiver's eyebrows furrowed. In exasperation or in pain he did not know yet again, but it wasn't the time to entertain such thoughts as Märchen began to speak, his voice cracked and broken at some points that Hiver had to strain to hear, no matter how well he knew what the other was about to say.

"Elisabeth... She... she's gone... she's the one... I had loved... and now she's gone... and I couldn't stop it... she'd waited for me... for so long... and I'd forgotten her..."

At this Hiver tightened his hold on him, feeling Märchen's tears fall onto his coat as the latter's knees gave away and he fell to the ground, pulling Hiver with him. Hiver closed his eyes tightly to desist the flow of tears that threatened him, as he whispered softly to the empty shell that was once Märchen.

"I... it'll be fine, I'll be here... I'll catch you when you fall... so don't cry, please..."

He knew he had spoken empty promises, but at the same time his consciousness told him that Märchen wouldn't mind, for the man was miles away from him now, even if his body was with Hiver right at that moment.

Because he knew, and nothing will ever change, despite everything that he might do.

Michele was right, and he knew it all along. He was alone.

Of course he'll catch him. And hold him tight. If possible he'll never let go. No matter how much his barren heart hurt.

Because Märchen will always belong to Elisabeth, and he'll belong to nobody.

He'll be alone forever.

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><p><em><strong>Syaoran's Sakura:<strong>__ I'm so cruel, putting Hiver through that... but the truth is it's not my fault! It's this doujin that spurned those thoughts on me! Even though I couldn't understand a thing about what they're saying! *just replace the spaces with dots* __http:/www pixiv__ net/member_illust php?mode=manga&illust_id=17927845_


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